Manland v Garden Fields Cricket Club Men of Fields on Thu 02 Jun 2016 at 6pm
Garden Fields Cricket Club Won by 5 wickets

Match report Winter returns to Hertfordshire…woolly hats and coats were frantically being pulled back from summer hibernation in the loft…
Insect takes a half day to leave work early and finishes around the same time as his old man…
Dingo talks too much on premium rate number and turns up late…
Jumper presented in absence of receiver…
Jesus returns as our savior…

So summertime in England, think Pimms, cucumber sandwiches and scantily dressed women. NO it was bloody freezing (8 degrees) according to in car thermostats! The MoF gathered early (I am told) and were raring to go for a sharp 6pm start. MoF into bowl first on a slightly damp strip and long outfield (scattered with dog pooh, ask Rookie!!). With a strong prevailing wind Insect took the opening over and bowled nice and tight, getting some ‘varied’ bounce from the pudding like pitch. Insect unlucky not to take a wicket with his bowling and ending his 3 overs with 0-9 (tidy!). Using our new tactic of bowling 10 overs from one end Jonty was assisting Insect although the batsman did go after him a little, perhaps it was because he ‘forgot’ to put his cricket shoes on and was doing his best impression of Bambi on Ice in the outfield! Apparently he was so eager to get started totally forgot to change his shoes!

The Shep family then took the ball and both senior and junior (Kit) bowling very well, their batsman were trying to push the score along but were making hard work of it. Running some very tight singles which caused us to scramble around trying to run them out and in fact our leading wicket taker was runouts!! Fielding proved to be difficult in the cold and Chukka found that out when going for big catch in the deep, unlucky to drop it, a good effort.

A special mention to Insects runout which was so casual it looked like he wasn’t going to throw it at all, the batsman turned for a quick two and Insect had already scooped it up as they turned, he ran towards the stumps and took his best tenpin bowling stance, threw it in very slowly and hit middle stump, BRILLIANT!!

Turps and Wilks then took to the bowling and by this time the batsman were really going for it Turps getting hit for 14 off his opening over (ouch!) with Wilks starting stronger but then Manlands “The Count” (Either from Sesame Street or employed as an accountant and not “The C**T as someone misheard it, and we thought some of our nicknames were harsh!!) went big and hit a huge six off Wilks second over followed by two more blows for four but then almost in slow motion he hit one up in the air almost breaking through the low cloud cover to hover somewhere over mid-wicket, underneath stood a cold Bilbo knowing that this was his chance to at last take a MoF catch, everyone held their breath as he took his position, the cries of don’t do a Bunty were heard…alas Bilbo’s hands weren’t quite working correctly and he seemed to forget to close them as the ball approached NOT OUT!!

Manland amassed a healthy 68 runs off the last 6 overs bowled, even Dingo getting hit twice for six, shocking! SO wrapping up their innings for 137, not a bad total.

So onto the MoF with wood in hand, Turps organising the batting line up going for Shep Snr. and Chukka. Both looking steady with Chukka hitting a lovely couple of fours to everyone’s cheers. Shep grabbing a couple of runs before lobbing one up for an easy catch and then Chukka doing the same at the other end! Not the strong start we’d all hoped for…but then came in the Wilks and Turps combo both quick between the wickets so the runs started coming but then disaster, Turps plays at one and doesn’t quite get to it, thick edge onto his wickets, a big groan from the MoF support on the side lines. In goes Dingo still distracted from the chat line he’d spent half an hour on before the start! So distracted that when Wilks started smashing one back at the bowlers end he couldn’t get out of the way quick enough to take one on the pads which rebounded on to his head (no damage done!)

Their bowling was pretty tight until they threw in “The Guvnor” everything thinking his nickname was because he just owned the field...oh dear…he was shocking, Wilks’ eyes lit up bigger than when the MoF go to Mokokos for cocktails and MILF spotting. BOOM…6,6,4,6,4,2…28 off one over, back in the game!! Funnily enough “The Guvnor” didn’t bowl again. Wilks strolls happily into the hutch with a mighty 44!

Into the crease steps Manny with his brand new GM cricket bat still to break it’s cherry, much excitement among the MoF…before anyone got too excited Dingo went for a big one down the leg side and turned away thinking…four…jogging casually to fist pump with Manny only to hear cheers from the Manlands field, “Tizzard” had only gone and stuck his hands out without looking and caught the bloody thing!! In steps Shep Jnr. and fair to say that what happened next was truly remarkable, Shep Jnr had some lovely touches, little taps down to third man, drives into the covers and great display of batting, some calling for a DNA test for family legitimacy!! To go with this awesome display we had Manny…now some might say that he is not known for his batting and more for being a dead ringer for Jesus but with his fresh Lords training echoing around in his head, he took his unusual baseball style stance (Do they teach that at Lords these days??) Manny starting swinging at them and the balls were flying everywhere, singles, twos, fours, in fact only 3 balls he faced were dot balls, now that’s how to play 20/20 cricket, the Lords coaching working wonders!! As Manny approached 25 we don’t think he was keeping a count in his head, the over finished with Manny on 25, the MoF calling him in and looking slightly confused and heard saying “What me?” he’d done it 25 NOT OUT, excellent stuff! So chasing down 13 off 13 we had the youngest MoF in with Bilbo, who didn’t waste any time a quick 11 off 5 balls and got bowled…Rookie next in to questions of “Is your knee going to be OK?” “Can you actually run between the wickets?” Rookie answering back “I intend to hit boundaries so I don’t have to run!” but we didn’t need him, Shep Jnr took it upon himself to win the game with a two and then a fine four to get the winning runs, well done MoF a fine display and racking up our fourth win.

Off to the pub to a) get warm and b) drink beer. The venue was the The Oak renamed and posh’ d up to The Oddfelllow and with “A side pocket for a toad” on tap it was a most welcoming venue. They even served up 22 plates of turkey curry which went down quicker than stripper on a double rate…

So onto the presentation of the jumper, some suggestions included…Jonty for not wearing his cricket shoes...Dingo for being late…but there was only one winner for two reasons…firstly Bilbo sends an email round at about 17:30 saying “Might be a bit late as my f***** cricket pants are still going round in the washing machine. Prepare for an evening of soggy gusset action.” In fact he ended up wearing his swimming trunks…secondly his catching performance in the field…

Unfortunately Bilbo was unable to attend the after match drinks and curry as he had to rush home to get his jock strap onto dry…

Manland Batting
Player name RunsMB4s6sSR
for 7 wickets
124 (20.0 overs)

Garden Fields Cricket Club Men of Fields Bowling

Player NameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
Anthony Walter3.00900.003.00
Nick Knapp3.002300.007.67
Simon Shepard3.001800.006.00
Andrew Turpin3.002100.007.00
Paul Wilkinson3.002000.006.67
Matt Niel2.002700.0013.50
A.N. Other3.001800.006.00

Garden Fields Cricket Club Men of Fields Batting
Player Name RMB4s6sSRCatchesStumpingsRun outs
for 5 wickets

(0.0 overs)
Simon Shepard Caught  2
David Clamp Caught  8
Paul Wilkinson Retired Not Out  44
Andrew Turpin Bowled  5
Matt Niel Caught  4
Alex Hill Retired Not Out  25
A.N. Other Retired Not Out  25
Steve Bagshaw Bowled  11
Rob Walter Not Out  0
Anthony Walter  
Nick Knapp  
Mark Bunting  

Manland Bowling

Player nameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
No records to display.