Killigrew v Garden Fields Cricket Club Men of Fields on Thu 07 May 2015 at 6pm
Garden Fields Cricket Club Lost by 5 wickets

Match report

Traditional Season Opening Moonlight Game Ends in Defeat (and Daylight ..!)
First sight experience of the Killigrew pitch in the warm…..
Dab in Binary Blocker Shocker
Newby Neil in run making debut
Rookie trousers a decent catch at Long Off

The Men of Fields rolled up to Killigrew for what is traditionally the season opener (excluding our annual Harefield annihilation), and proved so again, having been rained off the night before against Verulam..
On arrival the MoF were surprised to be in the midst of the Chiswell Green branch on UKIP all desperate to elect their local fascist into Parliament, so the car park was busy.
Rookie and Nettles were somewhat surprised too, to be apprehended on the way in to the toilet at the community centre, by the chief commandant, (Trunchbull) as follows..

“err, where are you two going ?”, “to the toilet, is that ok”, “no, it’s not, I have children in here”, “well that’s fine as we’re not paedophiles, and anyway isn’t the community centre not for the community” …? , “you can’t just come wandering in here you know” “Oh ok, really, I can go wee in a bush outside amongst your queuing UKIP voters if you wish - your call…?)…
Common sense prevailed, Rookie pointed percy at the porcelain and not the gathered populous outside, and the game could begin.


The toss was made and GFCC were in to bat. Bizarrely, and for the second time in a week Rookie was again asked to open, much to his bewilderment, with a more rounded and experienced opener in Brains.
Brains quickly smited a cheeky four, and all was looking well, until he went for the typical MoF sweep and was clean bowled middle stump on a bit of a dead spongey wicket. In came toolbox.
Toolbox was obviously keen to get his one annual appearance out of the way early doors, and he quickly raced on with a number of 2’s and 4’s, as Rookie blocked and prodded at the other end. Toolbox though sadly had his own agenda, as he had Toolbox junior to go collect and couldn’t have a long match, and he therefore struck out and was caught on 26 when due back in the hutch..
Rookie soon followed, caught on 17 when hitting exactly the same shot to exactly the same bloke in exactly the same place for the third time, and it was indeed 3rd time lucky as he held on to the hardest of the 3 identical shots.
So that left Turps in (fresh from his 61 at Harefield) and newbie Neil to carry on the twatting. Toolbox is as we know a proper cricketer as demonstrated at Harefield, so it was only right he was clean bowled on 8, when presumably he had his eyes shut. Newby Niel (herein known as Chas by virtues of the fact he lives in High Grove - it was that or Camilla…!) then prepared to face his first ball as a MoF.
Chattering knees could be heard from the boundary, and the smell of fear was ripe, but Chas splendidly blocked not one but 2 balls before scoring an excellent 2 on his debut. We all know how tough it is out there as the new guy, and it was a superb debut..
Inexplicably the Dab decided to take charge, and put himself in next. Now, it is fair to say that the Dab still has his full array of Dab’s, late cuts and similar, but he has clearly forgotten he cannot run anymore. Hence he proceeded to block about 5 overs before getting clean bowled for 3, in a display that would ultimately be jumper earning…. The Dab assisted their bowler Bob in returning figures of 3o-0m-3w-4r… Impressive indeed….

That left few overs for Windmill and Postie to add to our score, and we only ran up a miserly 86, albeit not bad off 15 overs eh Dab …


So, to the field and clearly the pressure would be on defending such a low total against a renowned batting team.
We managed to get into their opening bats early though, with a couple of quick and cherished wickets to Windmill. TT bowled tidily if a bit more uneconomical than usual.
Nettles was his usual resilient self, with a wicket in 3 overs, and Rookie also picked up both a wicket and a catch at Deep Fine Cock (or Long Off). Special mention again to Chas for a good debut display in the field too..
Sadly though it was never going to be enough, and we lost the game with some 5 overs to spare. We were a Dingo, Jock or Wilkie away from getting the required runs on the board sadly.
The jumper was awarded in the King Harry (who managed to forget the food, and then scramble together a bizarre mix of chips, cheese sandwiches and salad….? #dafuq ..!)…. The Dab was the obvious and eventual winner, but not without mentioning TT, who had managed to leave a very expensive pair of specs on the roof of his car for Mrs Jock for most of the duration of the game, fortunately they were still there..
Jock was also a contender for turning up to collect said glasses, but not actually playing for us…! Final contender was Toolbox who somehow has no acceleration in his running style, starts slowly and then gets slower, picks up the ball eventually, and then refuses to throw it straight back – bizarre indeed..!
Onto Manland next week, and hopefully our first win…
Fielding Stats
Rookie 17 Caught
Brains 4 Bowled
Toolbox 26 Caught / trousered
Turps 8 Bowled
Chas 2 Caught
Binary Dab 3 Bored Bowled
Windmill 8 Bowled
Postie 5 Not Out

Chucking 0v-Wckt-Mdn-Run
Windmill 3-2-0-18
TT 3-0-0-20
Nettles 3-1-0-16
Toolbox 3-0-0-14
Rookie 3-1-0-9
Turps 0.4-0-0-6

Garden Fields Cricket Club Men of Fields Batting
Player Name RunsMB4s6sSRCtStRo
6w 7b  
for 7 wickets

(0.0 overs)
Rob Walter Caught  17
Chris Parker Bowled  4
Richard O'Toole Caught  26
Andrew Turpin Bowled  8
Neil Shelford Caught  2
Richard Jones Bowled  3
Bill Burt Bowled  8
Allen Nicklin Not Out  5
Steve Bagshaw  
Tim Griffiths  
Stephen Nicklin  
Ian Blackmore  

Killigrew Bowling

Player nameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
No records to display.

Killigrew Batting
Player name RMB4s6sSR
for 5 wickets
87 (0.0 overs)

Garden Fields Cricket Club Men of Fields Bowling

Player NameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
Bill Burt3.001829.006.00
Tim Griffiths3.002000.006.67
Ian Blackmore3.001628.005.33
Richard O'Toole3.001400.004.67
Rob Walter3.00919.003.00
Andrew Turpin0.40600.009.00